Confessions of a Wedding Consultant

The contents of this post are what inspired me to create this blog. (Hence the name of the blog.) Keep in mind that though some of this things seem insignificant or small, I work with the public on a daily basis and am expected to be incredibly patient, caring, and smiling with each and every one of my customers no matter whats going on around me. And with the amount of people that I help everyday, even when my patience is wearing thin, and I no longer give a sh**, and I just don't feel like smiling anymore, these insignificant and small things will start to get on my nerves. Consider this your lesson on how to keep your wedding consultant happy so that she can help you find your perfect dress and in turn, make YOU happy! (I will probably update this frequently)

So, here it is! Confessions of a Wedding Consultant:

1. Zip Up Your Dresses! This is one of the simplest things but when you are handling and putting away hundreds of dresses everyday, it gets really annoying really fast. You should do this anytime you are shopping, not just for bridal gowns. If it has a zipper, zip it up after you take it off! Please remind your bridesmaids to do the same.
2. Put your dress on the hanger properly. This kind of goes with zipping the zipper but it needs to be said. Even if it has straps on the dress, use the hanger straps to secure the dress on the hanger. 
3. Wear UNDERWEAR! You had an appointment today when you got dresses. You knew you would be trying on dresses that require the help of a consultant. Commando or a thong are not good options. I don't care how good you think you look, I don't want to see your butt or anything else down there. 
4. Unless you are having your child fitted for a flower girl dress or a tux, don't bring your children. Even if the shop allows children, a bridal store is no place for little kids to be running around. Its easier on me, you, and the rest of the customers in the store if you hire a babysitter for a few hours or drop the kiddos off at grandmas. And here is why: 
• We don't have designated areas for you to change your child's diaper. To some people, that means its ok to lay your child down on the train of a dress on a manikin, on a bridal platform, or pedestal and proceed to change your child's diaper.  
• There are lots and lots of full length mirrors in a bridal shop. We have to clean these everyday. Small children like to touch mirrors, leaving lots of little hand prints and sometimes little boogers all over the mirrors. I don't enjoy cleaning up after your little ones.
• Little ones need to be fed. Sometimes that means breastfeeding. Again, some people think that that means its ok to breastfeed in a dress that they don't own and other people may need to try on. If you are going dribble your boob juice all over a gown, expect to pay for it.
• Kids, even well behaved ones, have their moments where they want to run, be loud, and be rough. A bridal store is not that place.
• I babysat for years and years. I no longer babysit. I work in a bridal shop. As your consultant it is not my job to stand outside your dressing room and watch your kids while you try to get into the dresses by yourself. It is my job to assess your style and what your are looking for, help you find that dress, help you get into the dress, educate you on how to make that dress properly fit you, and coordinate accessories and the bridal party to your dress. Bringing your kids along hinders me from being able to properly do my job.
5. Shower before you come to your appointment. I have had customers come in who look like they worked out, went to sleep, crawled out of bed and drove straight to the store. I have to be in a small, confined dressing room with you to be able to assist you in and out of the gowns. I should not have to tolerate your oder  or your greasy body. So please shower. Also, I'd appreciate it if you shave your arm pits and legs sooner than a week before your appointment. Remember how many people's bodies I have to see everyday.
6. Don't be impatient. If you chose to come in on a busy day I won't be able to be at your side catering to your every whim. I may be helping multiple people at one time. Please be patient with me.
7. Don't bring in 12 bridesmaids to try on dresses and 12 more people from your family to give opinions on a busy day. I can almost promise you that your will have bridesmaids sharing dressing rooms and guests standing the entire time. The salon where I work has 31 dressing rooms. On Saturdays, each consultant gets 2 - 3 fitting rooms and 3 or 4 chairs. Every last one of them will be taken and we will have guests standing and customers sharing dressing rooms and turning walk-ins away because we literally have no more room.
8. I strive to make my brides feel like princesses but please keep in mind that I am your consultant, not your slave. I will be happy to pull any merchandise for you, help you in and out of dresses, and give you opinions and advice, but don't expect me to kneel down and put a pair of shoes on for you while you use my head to balance yourself. Don't expect me layout the train of your dress more than three times per dress that you try on or to follow you around the store fluffing this and straightening that. Don't ask me to pull this or that in one of every color, just in case you might want to change your color schemes. 
9. Don't go through the racks pulling out dresses that you won't put back in, because then I have to follow behind you neatly tucking each dress back into the crowded rack and straightening its bag so the dress isn't stuck crumpled inside. I do that for the 50 dresses you pull out when you only have interest in trying on ten of them. Just tell me what you what you need so I can show you what section to look in. One section is easier to straighten than you leaving the entire rack a disaster.
10. This should be common sense but don't pile up the dresses that you aren't interested in  on the floor. Until you have paid for it, it isn't your dress. The dress you are throwing on the floor is meant to be someone's Wedding gown or bridesmaid dress. Show a little respect. I once left a bride alone for 5 minutes to go help another customer. While I was gone, she decided to try on more gowns by herself. She didn't know how to put them back on the hangers right so she just piled them waist high on the floor in the corner of her dressing room. Don't be the person. Show a little respect.

To be continued...

Get the Most Out Of Your Dress Shopping Experience!

I feel that this is a good topic to start off with. Its SO important! It sets the pace and expectations that you will have for the rest of your wedding planning experience. So many people go about it all wrong and are completely unprepared. You can't really blame them, it's not exactly common knowledge for most people. But that why I'm here: to prepare YOU for your dress shopping experience.

• Before you even think about dress shopping!
• Know your budget and have the money available to purchase that day if necessary. I see it all the time. Brides come in without a budget and fall in love with a dress that they will never to be able to afford and after being in the super expensive dress, nothing in their budget will compare. Other brides come in with a budget in mind but don't have their money saved up yet or they can't spend it yet for this or that reason. They end up finding the dress of their dreams but don't have the money for it available until after it is past the order deadline to have it in time for the wedding or the dress has been discontinued and is no longer available. Something else that often happens is that brides with find their perfect dress in their perfect size on the clearance rack but its the last one in the store and they don't come up with the money until after it has been sold. The lesson here is don't shop till you have the money to spend!
• Where
• Plan out what stores you are going to shop at. Do your research. You will probably hear me say that phrase a lot, but for good reason. Research the stores. Find out their reputations, what their service is like. Just remember to check different sources for each store. One site may be nothing but horror stories while another is all praise. If you have some sort of special need, find out what stores will cater to that need. For example, are you a plus size bride? a pregnant bride? A tall or petite bride? Does your culture call for a colored gown rather than a white one?
• Take into consideration the savings or conveniences that stores may provide. Stores may provide discounts on wardrobe for your wedding party if you get your gown and entire wedding party outfitted through them. Or if you have bridesmaids and groomsmen across the country you may want to go with a corporate chain rather than a small local boutique. Many shops provide in-store alterations, where other may ship-off the alterations they need to an outside company. In house services are always better than out-sourced services, that way you can meet, speak with, and trust the person who will be performing that service, whether it altering your dress, dying your shoes, or anything else. Shop around and contact the stores that you are interested in. Find out what kind of savings and services they offer.
•  So You Have Narrowed it Down to 2 or 3 stores that are going to give you the best service, the best selection, and can meet any special needs or requests that you have.
• I'm going to say it again: do you research. If the store has a website, log on and search through the styles available and make a list of favorites. This will make it easier once you get to the store. Just make sure that all of the styles that you are "favoriting" are within your budget, are not "available online only", and come in the color of your choice, if you need a specific color, whether it be white, Ivory, or anything else. If the store is a small local place, it may not have a website. In this case, find out if they offer a catalog or if the designers that they carry offer a catalog. If they don't, you will just have to trust that your consultant has a good judge of your fashion taste at the time of your appointment.
• Now its time to set your appointment. Place your appointment well in advance, at least a week. Ask when they are the slowest, this is when you will get the most one on one time with your consultant and therefore the best service. Usually your best bet is for an afternoon on a weekday. Even if you have to take off work a few hours early that day, it will be worth it for the better service you will receive. If you know of a specific consultant at that store that you want to work with, specify that when setting your appointment. If you need to cancel your appointment or push the time up or back an hour, use common courtesy and call the store to give them a heads up. If you show up early, they may not be prepared for you yet. If you show up late, they may have already moved on to another appointment. If you just don't show up, you are wasting their time, and possibly the time of another bride who wanted an appointment during your time slot.
•  It is the Day of Your Appointment!
• Be prepared! Have your list of favorites ready and any undergarments that you may need. Some stores have bras and slips for sale that you may try on with the dresses to give you the proper fit and coverage that you will need. Other stores may not offer undergarments  and therefore you will need to bring your own. Find out in advance from the store what you may need to bring with you. Somethings that you may need/want to bring with you: strapless bra, long line bra, spandex shorts, control slip, hair tie.
• When you arrive at the store and have been set up with and introduced to the consultant that will be helping you, you will need to share some valuable information with her. She should ask you, but if she doesn't you will need to make a point of telling her this information:
• Your Budget. Be sure to include alterations, undergarments, shoes and accessories in your budget for the Big Day Outfit. There is more to your outfit than just the price of the dress.
• Your favorite styles list and what general styles you are looking for. Examples: fit and flare, sweetheart neckline, a-line, cathedral train, lace, ruching, etc. 
• Ask for information on any sales that are going on if any.
• If you have never been to this store before, ask the consultant to start you off with a quick store tour so that you know where everything is located, including the restroom!
• Let her know your approximate dress size (and your bra size if she will be needing to pull out any undergarments for you).
• Many people want to bring their whole family with them when they go dress shopping. They think it sounds like fun to bring everyone along, but it rarely ends up that way. I recommend bringing two or three people at most, whosoever opinions you value the most. Usually the brides mother and/or father and the maid of honor are the first choices. To many people will have you bombarded with opinions and completely overwhelmed before your appointment is even over. It can get ugly fast especially if you have a very opinionated family. Everyone thinks that it won't happen to them but the store where I work usually sees between 2 to 6 brides a week that come back wanting to exchange their dress and start their shopping from scratch because they felt pressured into purchasing a dress, ironically not by a salesperson, but by their loved ones.
• Don't get stressed about purchasing that day. If you are undecided between 2 or 3 dresses, get pictures of you in your favorites. Go home and sleep on it. Make a list of the pros and cons of each dress, including price, comfort, amount of alterations needs, etc. Usually, if one of those dresses is THE dress, you will know it within a day or two. Just make sure you find out the orders times for your favorites before you leave the store. Feel free to find a favorite at two or three different stores before you make your final decision, but don't go to every bridal store in the state or you will drive yourself and your family crazy. It can be a fine line.
• Once You Have Purchased The Dress of Your Dreams...
• Make sure to set any alterations appointments if you need them.
• Celebrate! Go out to lunch with your girls and have a few drinks! You have your dress and now the rest of the wedding planning should start slowing moving into motion. Your dress sets the mood for the rest of the wedding. Now that the wedding's "centerpiece", if you will, has been chosen, everything else will be much easier.
• STOP LOOKING! You have found your dress and you if you keep shopping you will be constantly second guessing yourself and slowing down the planning for the rest of your wedding. This should be something that you enjoy so don't ruin it for yourself.
• Go online and review the store. Give them the good, the bad, and the ugly. Call the store and ask to speak to a manager. Tell them what your experience was like and what could have been better. Don't forget to tell them your consultant's name. If you REALLY liked the service you received, write your consultant a thank you note and mail it to the store. Trust me, it would mean the world to her! :]

Happy Shopping!